Manifesto of the Forget 9/11 Movement

[tangaroa]

Forget 9/11!

The terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001 were the culmination of years of terrorism directed against the United States and other nations by the organization led by Usama bin Laden. This organization was allied with and protected by the Taliban, an army of religious extremists from Pakistan and Arabia who had invaded Afghanistan and brought oppression and misery to the people there. We would like you to forget all of that.

It is important that we forget the reasons that American soldiers are fighting in Afghanistan so that we can make a goofy grin and ask the question "What are we doing in Afghanistan?" as if anybody over the age of ten did not already know.

Forget What Country We're Talking About

We use the exact same rhetoric that was used to oppose the Iraq war even though Afghanistan is a completely different situation. Just as George W. Bush did not understand the complexities of Iraq before he invaded that country, we must not understand the complexities of Afghanistan.

Follow Bush's Failed Policies

George W. Bush foolishly devoted insufficient resources to the war in Afghanistan and commanded policies of "force protection" by which American troops would hide in their bases and avoid fighting the Taliban so that fewer reports of U.S. troop deaths would get into the news. Bush's strategic incompetence ensured that Afghanistan would remain an unwinnable quagmire until we got more troops into the country and changed the strategy. We willingly choose to continue Bush's policies against the advice of Pentagon officers who are offering better strategies and have been requesting more troops for years.

It is of the utmost importance that we allow the Taliban uncontested control of the ground and all population centers. This is the only possible pro-America policy.

Oppose War By Supporting Jihad

War is bad. The idea of the Taliban army once again freely rampaging around Asia and slaughtering anyone who refuses to join them... well, that's not war. Honest. As long as cable news does not cover it, we don't give a damn. We didn't give a damn about the people of Afghanistan before 9/11, so why should we give a damn about them now? The only people of Afghanistan we will recognize are the Taliban. Everyone else can die for all we care, and if we have our way, they will.

The terrorists say that they will never stop trying to conquer the world until we are all dead or converted to their Dark Ages way of life. Since we do not feel like fighting back, we must attempt to appease the terrorists so that they will be gracious enough to kill us last. If anybody suggests we do anything to stop the terrorists or at least give a little help to the people who are resisting them, we must oppose such evil suggestions with all the outrage we can muster.

SPEAK TROOF TO POWER!

We are the voices of THE PEOPLE. We are PROUD, we are MANY, and we are STUPID. It is our duty and our right to speak out and to shout down anybody who disagrees.